Moving on....

Ok deep breath time to moooove on and look forward to a new year.



GOAL!!
Who's got 'em? =) Tell me all about them. Teeeeell mee before my curiosity gland explodes.

Herewith are mine:
- Get rock hard abs. There is NOTHING wrong with this goal. Stop laughing.
- Run an ultra
- Attend the Temple at least monthly
- Pray and read scriptures daily
- Keep up on the dishes and laundry
- I can't remember the rest and I've lost the sheet where I wrote them down already. Hahahaha =D

Here's the rock hard abs I want, baby:



Ok, maybe not. =D


I am eating chocolate. I gained 4.2lbs last week alone. Ohhhhh bummer. I bagged up most of the rest of the chocolate and sweet stuff in the house and put it upstairs by Bert's desk so he can take it to work on Monday. But I saved out the chocolate David Peach sent us from England because a) I love David Peach and b) it's gooooood chocolate.

Nom nom nom nom nom. =)

In contemplation of 2010

I woke this morning to the sounds of Bert removing his bike from his trainer and was so happy for him. He received all kind of awesome bike gear for Christmas, some of which was designed to keep him comfortable whilst biking in freezing weather. No doubt he is excessively grateful for his lobster gloves and shoe covers right now.

As I lay there after he left my thoughts turned to the year that we're leaving and to say I grew fairly melancholy would be just about accurate. Holy cow this was one hell of a year. It would be ok with me if I didn't experience another one like it for some time. The Spirit whispers "If this is the worst you experience, you've had a pretty wonderful life" and oh boy ain't that the truth? In comparison to some my life is amazingly blessed and cushy.

That's not to say it didn't hurt, though. And it all started way back in January. I feel like the whole year's been overshadowed with pain. May was pretty bad, beginning with the flood. I'm shaking as I remember the night - so dark, the rain lashing down, trying to get to the hospital. We'd drive and the road would be blocked and we'd see scenes like the one in the video in the link, so we'd turn around and try to find a different route and all the while my son's in the front seat and my heart is in my throat. We were transferred to Children's hospital in Nashville just before flooding shut down the freeway and it was completely bizarre to be sitting in that hospital watching the news and seeing fire trucks pumping out the hospital basement...and we'd just have to step outside the door and see those same trucks. Bert had to move the car higher in the garage. When he did so he witnessed a nurse, wading in water up to her thighs, attempting to get to her car to move it. It was surreal. It would be ok with me if I never experienced anything like that again.

And then right after I got pregnant. And then I had to stop running because of the bleeding. So that was grief. And then I lost the baby.

And I can't talk about that anymore.

Mostly now I'm just fine. It's amazing how if you just go through the motions eventually everything becomes routine again. But sometimes I'm hit with a wave of grief. And sometimes any little disturbance in my safe little life will send me careening over the edge into fury and I lock myself away so no-one sees. I used to be deeply horrified and shocked by any kind of coarse thoughts and bad language. At times when the anger gets me the language in my head would shock the old me right out of my socks.

Sometimes - a lot of the time - I feel like I'm broken and I will never be fixed.

This year took me and ripped me apart and I'm not fully back together yet and I long to be that person I was last Christmas but I'm not. And I don't know how to be her again. And I don't know if I'll ever be her again. And I'm so sad, because she was pretty nice really and the me now is torn and twisted.

One of the hardest posts to delete from The Loop was the one about the fish. Do you remember it? Did you see it? I wish I still had it. Somehow that post encapsulated everything and it felt "right." I was running and I saw a man in front of me stop and look at the side of the road and exclaim into his phone "There are fish in a puddle by the side of the road." So I stopped and looked....and my gosh there were. The sun was shining and the water was evaporating quickly and I knew if we didn't rescue those fish soon they'd die. So what did I do? I went to my husband and told him. And he leaped into action, preparing everything we'd need. Then he, I, and Andrew went out and rescued the fish. We took them over to the lake in the next subdivision and released them.

When I think about that experience there's more there than I can comprehend. Firstly, there is pain - my older son wasn't there. Then there was my immediate fervent desire to save the fish...I'm hoping that says something good about me. I could do with thinking something good about me. Then there was teaching my younger son to help others. The Spirit whispers "When you serve and help others, the grief is less." and that's so true. And then there's my husband, to whom I immediately turned, knowing he'd know what to do and that he'd do it, and do it well.

All through this year my husband has suffered just as much as I. And yet while I feel damaged, he has remained true, steadfast, a rock and a support. He has given of himself at every opportunity. Through situations that have made me snarly and furious he has through supreme effort remained calm. He's laid himself down for his family. He has been strong for us. He has raised us up. He has kept going. Not to say there haven't been times when he's broken down and sobbed too, but there was strength in that for him. Through grief and agony he has served others and given...and given...and given....until I'm left in awe at who he is and what he's done. I always knew I'd married up. This year confirmed that in spades.

I need to find a way to leave this year behind as we head into 2011. Please please God let 2011 be a good one. Another year like 2010 might kill me. For Family Home Evening I asked the family to think of positive things that have happened in 2010 and every single one of us struggled to do so. Ben's though, when it was his turn, was one of sincere gratitude to his parents and that was so beautiful. I'm so thankful for that.

So what good happened in 2010? I need to list some things but am having trouble bringing any to mind. Here we go:

- I made some really wonderful friends.
- I met my goal of running a half-marathon and then some.
- I was pregnant and I didn't throw up.
- I feel more compassion for others.
- I am less judgmental.
- Our whole family became more active and healthy
- Only one child died this year, and we will see him/her again someday

Wow, and that's what it's all about, isn't it? Through the atonement of Christ somehow all this pain and grief gets fixed. I don't know how it's done, but oh my goodness I'm so grateful for it. Which leads me to a whole slew of things I'm grateful for:

- My Saviour
- my testimony
- Hope (that's bittersweet to say, as we'd named the child Hope just before s/he died)
- Grace
- Repentance and forgiveness
- The Temple
- Redemption

The list goes on and on and on....


This is a long post but I could have written it in one sentence:
Holy cow this year sucked eggs, but Christ makes it all better.


If you've managed to read this far, how has your year been? What are the positive things that have happened? And what do you hope for in 2011?

I hope to run an ultra in 2011.
And while I hope to get closer to who I was before, I'm not sure that's possible. Maybe through this refiner's fire I'll be able to forge someone better?


Next time
Specific hopes, goals, and/or resolutions for 2011. Maybe.

OH my GOSH my butt hurts.

HUGE news for the day is that I have injured myself somehow. In my right butt cheek. Holy cow. I could hardly walk yesterday and didn't sleep well last night. Sitting on Andrew's robot boo-boo ice pack didn't help much really.

Today is a little better, but it's still not entirely painless to say the least.

And just think, this time last week I was quietly preening myself on my lack of injuries. GAH!!!! This week I'm meant to do 43 miles. That is SO not going to happen. And now I'm panicking because I'm behind in my running plan. Hyperventilation time!!!!


So, what did Santa bring you, eh? Eh? Spill the beans!!!!! Everyone comment and tell me all about your fun Christmas. Gosh there's nothing like new toys is there? YES! I *AM* seven years old, thankyouverymuch. But ooooohhhhhh I got some awesome toys. Want to know what they are? Hey? Hey? Well aaahm gonna tell ya.

My awesome nifty toys
And Iphone 4. Yu HUH!!! Yes I did!!! And I've had sooooo much fun with it. Those apps are fun! Can anyone recommend any way cool apps for me to play with?

Ok, I also received a Garmin:
- bike mount so I don't have to wear the G on my wrist
- cadence sensor for the bike
- foot pod which I have not yet been able to use because my butt huts so badly.

Yeah. I made out. Yeah. I'm totally spoiled. I love it. =)


Also, it snowed
Yep. White Christmas in Tennessee. How awesomely cool is THAT? =)


Tell me all about your Christmas! Did you have a wonderful time? Was it magical and special like mine? I had my whole family with me for one of the last times as soon Emily will be off and married and then before we know it Ben will be (hopefully) on a mission and then married. *sigh* Time flies.


Next time I'll probably waffle about the New Year. Do y'all do New Year Revolutions?

I tried to be good.

Ok, I didn't try THAT hard. This *is* me we're talking about.

But I sorta tried. I ate veggies from the veggie tray. That counts, right?

Unfortunately I also ate meat (chicken, fried) for the first time in Idon'tknowhowlong. Furthermore, I ate truffles and cookies and baklava and oreo truffle balls and buckeyes and coconut blondies and chocolate dipped turtle cookies (OH my GOSH was that good) and I drank egg nog. Low-fat egg nog, so that's ok, right? And you know what? My friend gave me the family a jar of homemade buttermilk syrup for Christmas. That stuff is insane. I will have to eat it with a spoon.

I'm a beached whale. B.E.A.C.H.E.D. I tell you.

FURTHERMORE!!!!!!
I was meant to run 3 miles on Weds. Didn't happen. Did an hour and a half on the tm yesterday so that sorta counts. Today's 10 mile run? Yeeeaaaahhh.....an hour and four minutes on the tm. I'm thinking that's about six miles. FAIL!!!!


But wait, there's more...
And I need a nap in THE. WORST. WAY. But my beloved won't let me into the bedroom. He is doing something secretive in there. Something with paper and pens and tape and scissors. What could it be? =) What do you think, beloved readers? Do you think he's meeting with Santa in there? I think I'm getting an iphone. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Which is good because my phone is sooo dead. If you love me message me and I might give you my number and then tomorrow you can text me on my brand new phone. Hehehehehehheehehhe. =)

Also, I'm getting a Garmin footpod. I know this because I opened the parcel thinking it was a DVD that I'd ordered for Emily - nope. Whoops.


Christmas is sooo fuuuuun!!!
I'm totally waffling.


Hey, guess what?
I ordered two running skirts MAJORLY inexpensively online. The one in the running store: $60 The ones I ordered online: $30 for two incl. shipping.

Yeah. I KNOW!!! Pretty awesome, huh?

First point I'd like to make about running skirts
Wow they feel good.

Second point I'd like to make about running skirts
CHAFING!!!! Holy cow!!!!! Thighs aflame!!!! Body glide is ESSENTIAL!

Third point I'd like to make about running skirts
My DH really really really really really likes them. =) There's a handy hint for you, girls. Buy yourselves a couple of running skirts for Christmas. It makes the men really happy. =)


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

No doubt I'll be back waffling. That's what you get when I'm on a sugar high and I'm whacked out needing a nap. I'm off to check your blogs now. You *did* write something fabulous for my Christmas Eve entertainment, right? =)


Update: in the tiny period of time since I posted this I've come down with my son's evil viral sickness. Uggghhhhhhh colds are sooo icky.

What, no picture?

My sister lives in Cyprus and my parents are in the process of moving out there. In a miracle of miracles they actually got an offer on their house in an incredibly difficult market in England. I shouldn't be surprised really, as my parents keep an I.M.M.A.C.U.L.A.T.E. house. Which makes one wonder what the heck happened to me, eh, and why didn't I inherit any of that?

But anyway, as a Christmas gift they got an offer on their house and are being drop-kicked out of it in about four weeks which certainly makes life exciting when one is expecting it to take several months - if not more - to sell one's house.

Where was I? I got off track.

Ah yes. Sister in Cyprus, parents moving there. Good move, parents!!!! Buy a house with a couple of guest rooms so we can come hang out like the hoi polloi in the Mediterranean.

In other news, I always thought hoi polloi meant the select few, the upper crust....but it appears to mean the exact opposite. I'm crestfallen.

I still remember the old BFBS jingle: "Somewhere in the Mediterranean this is Beee Efff Beee ESSSSS!" Remember it?

And then The Archers would play. Do do do do do do do, do do do do doo dooo, do do do do do do do, puddly puddly pum.

Ok ok ok ok, I'm off track again. I shall get back on it.

What this post is really all about
Sister in Cyprus, parents moving there. And thus I read this article with great interest. VERY great interest. (I'll paste it below just in case the link disappears) And after I read it I scrolled all over the place and could I find a picture???? NO!!!! What is the POINT of having an article about naked goddesses on the new Cypriot passport if there are no pictures of said naked goddess??????

That's all. I have nothing else to say.

Except that yesterday I was bad and didn't run. And it's 10.50am right now and I'm still in my nightdress. But I'm going for a run right now! Right.....now. =)



Goddess of Love emerges into foaming Cypriot row

– Thu Dec 23, 6:13 am ET

NICOSIA (Reuters Life!) – She may be the ancient Greek Goddess of Love, but a picture of a nude Aphrodite on the new passport of Cyprus has set more than hearts racing.

Cypriot diplomats are furious with the interior ministry for failing to consult with the foreign ministry before issuing passports with a depiction of a naked immortal that might offend conservative foreign cultures.

"They are worried that civilians and diplomats could get into trouble, particularly traveling to very conservative Islamic countries," the authoritative Phileleftheros daily newspaper wrote on Thursday.

The interior ministry said it was too late to change them, the newspaper said.

Local legend says Aphrodite (also known as Venus to the ancient Romans) emerged from the sea on a crest of foam just off the Mediterranean island.

The image on the new biometric passports is modeled on a Greek marble statue of a completely naked Aphrodite in the Cyprus Museum located in the capital Nicosia.

(Writing by Michele Kambas, editing by Paul Casciato)

The Lazy Days of Christmas. Sorta.

Beloveds, it's 12.56pm and guess who's still in her nightdress?

I love Christmas holidays. =D

I am deeply unprepared, but am coming to terms with my unpreparedness by basically throwing up my hands and saying those inspiring words "Ah whatever".

Today has been really quite super. Homeschooling is all done for the day. Bert is aboard the flight that will bring him back home to us. Emily has taken Andrew out to see Tangled and he was SO cutely excited by that. Ben is quiet because he's down with a hideous cold. And I'm still in my nightdress. =P

Tomorrow: Visiting Teaching, then Emily and I are off shopping where HOPEFULLY I can purchase some more gifts for her so she has more than the DVD I've bought her. I mean really! She can't just have one pressie! So difficult to buy for.

Tomorrow or Wednesday: if Bert doesn't take Ben out to do some shopping tomorrow I'll do it on Weds. I really hope Bert does it as Ben would find it really annoying going out with me. If Bert does it I can go food shopping on Wednesday.

Today: Oh gosh that means I have to plan out the Christmas menu today, doesn't it?

Thursday: Wrap, panic.

Friday: "Meh whatever" day, where we chill out, play games, watch films, and eat our traditional Christmas Eve meal: Pizza Hut Pizza. Which, admittedly, doesn't sound appetizing to me this year. Maybe I'll make/buy a fancy schmancy salad to go with it. Nom nom nom nom nom. =) And then I'll eat chocolate. We'll watch The Nativity and Father Christmas will come to see us. Yes, I joke not, Santa Claus comes to our house to see Andrew every year. =) He used to be our home teacher and he still loves us. What a great guy.

Saturday: WHOOT!!! Paarrrtaaay! =)

Did I ever tell you about the time that Father Christmas came to our house Christmas morning? We were sitting in the music room where the Christmas tree was, happily opening gifts, when there was a knock at the door. Bert and I looked at each other and I could tell we were both thinking, "Whhaa...? Someone from the ward? Please not someone come to hurt us. Who knocks on Christmas morning?"

So we went to open the door with the children around us and Ben (who was about 5 or 6) peeking out from around my legs....and there stood Santa!!!! We all kind of looked at him with wide shocked eyes trying to figure it out and he, bless his heart, seeing the little children said,

"Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas! Santa was visiting his grandchildren and locked his keys inside his "sleigh" and was wondering if he could call Mrs. Claus so she could bring the extra set of keys?"

Hahahahaha =D It. Was. AWESOME!!!! So we laughed and showed him the phone. Ben was soaking all this up. =) Even on the phone Santa was great, "Hello, Mrs. Claus, Santa has locked his keys in his sleigh...." =D

Well what could the poor guy do? He couldn't go back to his grandkids' house. That would have totally messed with their heads. =D

So anyway, Mrs. Claus rescued Santa Claus who'd locked his keys in his pick-up sleigh, and we were given a wonderful family memory.


Here's a nifty video. I hope you like it as much as I did. =)

19 miles baby

The Lord loves runners. This is so true. Despite the fact that I drug my weary body to bed at an hour way too late, and despite the fact that I thought there was NO WAY I was getting up early enough to get 19 miles in this morning, when the alarm clock rang at 3.30am I didn't go back to sleep. So 4am found me rolling out of bed, schlepping myself into my gear, and heading on out the door.

I couldn't face 4 hours on the tm. So I ran the 1/2 mile block by the house. Over and over and over. =D It wasn't too bad at all, actually. =) It worked out well as I could pop in and check on the kidlets. I'd warned Andrew last night that if he woke up and I wasn't there I would be running and if he needed me I'd be going by the house every few minutes & he could grab me then. He was totally cool with it. For him, Mummy running and Daddy biking for long periods of time is absolutely normal.

I put my water/perpetuem (which is GROSS but excessively useful) and gu on the boot of my car and stopped for a swig or two almost every time I passed by. Other useful thing about being near the house - comfortable pit stops. I had to make three. One of which was really quite urgent and could have been uncomfortable if I'd been running along 96.

The first two hours were dark. Which is good because I was listening to a podcast that made me laugh and that probably looked weird. The second hour and 55 minutes were light and started out a little weary and ended up ouchie.

What was *not* helpful was completing the 19 mile run and saying to myself "Now all I have to do is run that exact distance all over again and I'll have done the distance of the race in March." Uuuuhhhhhm. I can't imagine doing that. Barring accidents or whatnot, I *will* be doing that...I just can't imagine it. It makes me hurt just thinking about it.

I mean for goodness' sakes when I'd step up the curb to get to my car I'd go "Aaaahhhh" cos it was painful. Stepping up the CURB. I mean to say! Not painful "oh ouch injury" but painful "whine my legs and feet ache."

So. 19 miles in 3 hours 55 minutes. Five or so of those minutes were spent chatting to my dear neighbour who told me he'd found my blog! How cool is that? HI R!!!! How're you doing? How's the foot? =) He dropped an excessively heavy weight on his toe in what sounds like a not entirely painless accident. When he told me the first thing I thought was "DISASTER!!! How can you run with a broken toe?" Which just goes to show I'm completely nuts.

Ok. Here’s my schedule. How does it look? The stuff in blue I’ve already done.

	Monday	Tuesday	Weds	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Total
Week 1		5	2	2	0	15.3	24.3
Week 2	4.25	4	2	5	0	16.3	31.56
Week 3	6	2	2	0	5	19	34
Week 4	2	4	3	8	10	0	23
Week 5	4	4	6	10	21	0	43
Week 6	0	4	6	6	10	23	49
Week 7	0	4	6	8	6	25	53
Week 8	0	4	4	4	8	13	31
Week 9	0	4	8	8	10	27	55
Week 10	0	4	10	8	10	29	61
Week 11	0	4	10	8	10	31	63
Week 12	0	4	10	6	10	33	63
Week 13	0	4	10	8	8	20	52
Week 14	0	4	10	6	4	10	38
Week 15	0	3	2	0	0	60k – 37.3 miles	46.2

Why is my table coming out all weird and big and funky when it's really a nice compact little thing? That's annoying.

In other news we get to pick up Emily in a couple of hours. WHOOT! =)

.

Note to self:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.


Running
An hour and a bit on the tm.

I fantasized I was winning a 100 mile race. Like THAT'LL ever happen. But it felt awesome in my head. =D I ran for an hour - which is at least 5 possibly 6 miles. Then I walked for some more minutes - somewhere between five and ten - until my pedometer clicked over to 10,000. Because I'm anal like that.


Homeschooling
Much to my chagrin and grrrrrr ain't happening today because I got on the tm instead of getting on with it right away. At this moment I have three boys over at my house age 2, 4, and 5. In fifteen minutes I will have two more five year olds. Yes I AM awesomely amazing, thank you for saying so. =)

Andrew has his gym class this afternoon and is totally geeked out that today is TROPHY DAY because he's been taking gym for over a year now so he gets one. =)


Family
Andrew's also geeked out because Emily comes home tomorrow. WHOOOT! We're so excited. Bert's in Calabasas CA at the moment so that kind of sucks. He comes home on Monday evening and we're tickled about that. It's Ben's last day at school today and he's way too cool to be geeked out about it even if he IS secretly geeked out about it.


Confession
My jeans don't fit and I have an elastic band looped around the button and through the hole. When I'm standing up I don't have a muffin top. I will be standing a lot today. Obviously, although I've reached goal weight at Weight Watchers again, I need to lose a tad more. Think I need to work on my core. Think I need a personal trainer to ride my sorry butt and make me do it. Can't afford one. Le sigh.


And now the boys request that I make them a marble run. So.....Engineer Mummy to the Rescue! WHOOOOOT!





.

Oh! Well HI! How are you? =)

It's been TEN DAYS since I posted something. Yes. I am a bum. Furthermore, it's been busy round here and I'm STILL not ready for Christmas. I've been threatening the past couple of days that next year I'm running away on a cruise ship to the Bahamas and I won't send ANY Christmas cards.

So. What's been happenin'?
Not much really.

Christmas
Not ready

Running
I'm up to 16 miles. WHOOT! That was a slightly emotional run last Sat as the last time I ran 16 miles I was pregnant and a few days later I started bleeding and was banned from running. I kinda bawled my little heart out when the Garmin beeped 16 miles. I have to stop talking about it now as it ticks me off and I think really naughty words in my head.

Saturday is 19 but Bert won't be here (unless that evil storm front that's meant to come in right now...and isn't here yet even though the school sent the kids home early for NO REASON WHATSOEVER...hits us hard and his business trip gets canceled which would RAWK as his daughter comes home Sat and he's sad he won't be here and furthermore I don't want him to go.)

ANYWAY

Saturday is 19 and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Option a) Blow it off. Hahaha. Yeah. Like that's going to happen
Option b) Get up REALLY EARLY (ie 3.30am) and do it outside and hope Ben takes care of Andrew. Hmm. Dodgy.
Option c) Get up REALLY EARLY and do it on the treadmill so I'm around when Andrew wakes up. Problems with that are the display on my tm is broken so I won't know how far I've come and furthermore nineteen miles on a treadmill? Yeah, I can do it, but would I be sane afterwards?
Option d) Do it in the afternoon after I pick up Emily. Problem with that is..."Oh hi sweetie welcome home oh btw your Dad's not here and I'm heading out the door for four hours now, k?" Uuuhhmm....yeah, don't think I'll do that one.

Do y'all have any advice? Pretty please?

Homeschooling
We've been slowing down as I've been so busy, but we've managed to get in the basics.

Other stuff
I forget. I think about brilliant things to say while I'm running but then I forget them all when I'm sitting here typing.

Here's some random pictures.

Where do you think you're going? Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going. I LOVE Portal! =)


Yep.


Yu huh.


How to freak out your neighbours. Hahahaha! =D


Ok. Is this or is this not just about the FREAKIEST Einstein picture you've ever seen? I had to post it because it's so BIZARRE. And frankly is like UGH.


Have I posted this one already? It's Andrew talking about his Book-In-A-Box at his tutorial.


And here's one of his lego creation as of yesterday. He said "This took me like TWO DANG HOURS to make." =D Actually it was about ten minutes. He hasn't quite got the concept of time down. =) In case you didn't know, it's a flying machine ship thing and the guys live in HERE and they can sleep in HERE and they can drop bombs down HERE.



And, furthermore, I LOVE this song. It's my latest musical obsession. And it's funny. And really sweet. =)




Oh yeah, and you know what? The Manchester police are AWESOME!!!!! Check it out. SO fun. =)




.

I have a question

Ok, so we're reading Daniel and Esther this week in Sunday School. If you haven't at least the first few chapters of Daniel I strongly suggest you do so - the stories are mind-blowing.

Anyway, so here I am in Esther.
So Ahasuerus threw this HUGE party and invited all his peeps. His wife, Vashti, threw her own shindig for the women. The guys got really slap-happy and giggly and Ahasuerus was like "Oi! You! Go get Vashti so we can oggle her" to his servant and when the servant tells her to sashay into the King, Vashti's like "Dude. I think not!"

So Ahasuerus, being the king and therefore used to utterly getting his way like a spoiled kid was like "Hold up! That's not right! How'm I going to punish her?" and all his peeps say "You TOTALLY have to get rid of her because if you don't all the women in the country won't obey us. So kick her to the curb and our wives'll be frightened that *we'll* kick *them* to the curb and they'll obey us."

And Ahasuerus said "Tru dat" and got rid of Vashti.

Then his peeps were like "Hey, dude, you should totally have this Cinderella contest. It'd be wicked fun" and Ahasuerus said "Awesomesauce".


Are you with me so far? Keep paying attention, it gets really interesting and then comes the question.
So all the hot babes come to the palace and if they pass the round one inspection they get to go live in this house where they are "purified". Hegai sees Esther and is like "WOAH!" and gives her seven women to take care of her and gives her the best rooms in the house.

The women who pass round one spend ONE WHOLE YEAR being "purified". Yer what?

Esther 2:12 - to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of the women;


First question
I do not know what all this is about. Anyone else know?


On with the story
Soooooo they're there for a year. And then they go see the king. And here is where I get my second all-important question. Have a look at these verses here and see if you can tell me what's going on:

Esther 2:13-14
Then thus came every maiden unto the king; whatsoever she desired was given her to go with her out of the house of the women unto the king’s house.

In the evening she went, and on the morrow she returned into the second house of the women, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king’s chamberlain, which kept the concubines: she came in unto the king no more, except the king delighted in her, and that she were called by name.


Uhhhhmmmm...........

Does that sound kind of dodgy to anyone else? I mean, what are those hot babes doing for a whole night? Reading a book? Verse 17 talks about "virgins" so this sets my mind at rest somewhat..but What. The. Heck?!?!?! Bert speculates they were....dancing? My mind puts together this equation:

Spoiled king used to getting everything he wants + hot babes = ???Idon'twanttothinkaboutit???

Thoughts? I'm really hoping someone has some insight out there. Maybe some kind of "Persia's Got Talent"?

Travail

Or "The birth of an ultrarunner"

I think, though, this could be considered the "pregnancy" period, eh? And the birth comes when I actually sign up for and run a race.

I had a difficult run today (more on that later) and afterwards I was pondering. I'm seriously considering doing the Land between the Lakes 60k on March 12th. This is a little too far a little too soon. I'd be better prepared for a 50k the middle of April. However, this course is described as "flat and fast" (hahahahaha!!! Yeah, only 3,000ft of elevation. And today I did 720ft and it was like uuuggghhh) and I kind of prefer that for my first ultra than billions of feet in elevation....the kind of elevation that looks like the road folding over in Inception.

ANYWAY.

Where was I?

uhm.

Braindead.

Hey, did you ever have autograph books in your school? We did at Holy Joes & we'd sign them every year or something. The favourite poem was:

Can't think
Brain numb
Inspiration
Won't come
Bad ink
Rotten pen
Good luck
Amen.

Hahaha =D

Ok, that's all entirely beside the point. I was talking about ultras, wasn't I? And pondering about them.

Anyway, so this ultra on March 12th. It occurred to me while I was pondering in the shower that this ultra will take place just a few days after my baby's due date. Not that that means anything really as all my babies come early but nevermind that. The baby's due date was 7/8th March (they couldn't decide which one so left it up to me...and I couldn't decide either). So basically all this training for the 60k is taking place during the time that I would have been pregnant with my munchkin.

Which led me to equate training for an ultra as a pregnancy, and the ultra itself as the birth. Only I'm not pregnant with a child, I'm pregnant with the me I'm becoming.

Thus, travail and the birth of an ultra ruuner. Hopefully all that makes sense. One never knows.

How all this fits in with my run today
Which makes today's run totally make sense because I got leg cramps and thought I was going to hurl - as one does when one is pregnant.

I set out with a lofty 3 hour goal. Endurolytes came highly recommended so I figured I'd better try some out. Took a couple an hour for the first two hours. Then hooooooooly cow I felt sick. I had to walk so I didn't lose the contents of my stomach. Uuuuugghh. At that point I quit taking anything except little sips of water. I thought to myself "What if this happens in a race and I have six more hours to go but anything I ingest makes me want to puke? That would *not* be good."

Not that I'm entirely sure the Endurolytes caused the nausea, but there's a strong correlation. I guess I need to take them on another run and see what happens.

Anyway, then, being the n00bsauce I am, without thinking I put on my new running shoes with the new inserts. Yeah. I know. MASSIVE calf cramps like I've never felt before. Ohhhh baby. Now I know what marathoners are talking about. Yikes. I had to walk most of the last 3 miles and I felt like a total failure. Especially when this really cute runner zoomed by at the speed of sound with her blonde ponytail swishing strong and confident as she ate up the distance. *sigh* I felt so defeated.

Enter the DH
So I was calling the run a BFFF - Big Fat Flippin' Fail - until Bert said, "It's not a fail. You got the miles in (at first I typoed "smiles" =)) and you learned something about your body." What a great perspective. The man is so smart. And level-headed. And hot.


Recoverite and the Farmer's Market
So I came in and was so late I only had half an hour to get to the Farmer's Market before it shut down. The missionaries are coming tomorrow so I needed more ground beef for the spaghettipalooza. I had time to change my shoes and throw some recoverite in some water (it SO totally needed to be blended with milk & a banana. And maybe a little peanut butter. But I didn't have time) and dash out the door.

I don't know if it was the change of shoes or the recoverite but oooee just a short while later my legs were feeling fiiiiiine. =)

And this is why I love the Farmer's Market
I bought the ground beef. Then I went to another stall (Paradise Produce), considered kale, then bought radishes. I told the lady I'd heard great things about kale but I'd had it once and it was bitter and GROSS and I couldn't handle it again. After a minute while I paid for the radishes she spontaneously said "Look, I have to give you some kale" and she did. She gave me a big bunch of kale and told me how to cook it and season it and refused to take any money for it.

Then I went to the Hatcher Dairy stall and asked for two half-gallons of skim milk and one half-gallon of 2% milk. And then when I went to pay I didn't have enough. I gave her enough to pay for two half gallons....but she insisted on giving me the third half gallon and said "Just pay us next time."

Warmed the cockles of my heart, it did. How sweet is that? So lovely, trusting and generous. And business smart (though I really don't think they thought of it that way...well, maybe Hatcher Dairy did but not the Paradise Produce) because now they have my loyalty because of their generosity.

audioaddict

I was going to tie this post into something. Like, "Sometimes running is like this song" and "This song is what parenting a teenager is like" and stuff.

But actually, these songs just freaking rock. And I must download them. And listen to them while I run.

I'd like to thank my beloved prickly teen for the first two songs.

That is all.


Ratatat - Bare feast. Which reminds me of barefoot running. Which I have never done in my adult life.



Fun. - Be Calm

You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive


12 Stones - Adrenaline



Audioslave - Cochise