Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Utah, Emily, Running and Strong Emotion

I'm so glad I'm here in Utah and able to do Emily's run-around errands. One nifty thing about the flight out: I'm sitting in Nashville airport waiting to board when a flight comes in the gate opposite filled with returning military. All the people at the surrounding gates spontaneously stand and applaud. Absolutely wonderful. =) Choked me up.

Sat in a very cramped seat next to a guy who overflowed into my seat, was somewhat odourous, snored and passed wind. Goodness Gracious. It was on this flight I realized that although I had brought the cord with which to recharge my ipod, I had forgotten the ipod itself. Gah!

Second flight was fine; wider seat in the middle of two ladies. One of which *really* did not want me to see her computer screen...I didn't even realize she had her computer open until she twisted it WAY away from my line of sight. =P Not to worry sweetie! I was too busy reading my running magazine.

Emily's friend picked me up from the airport and took me to the hospital. Emily looked so good for having had surgery less than 24 hours ago. She was walking around and around trying to get her digestion moving again. After a few hours they released her and we took her home. I ran a couple of errands to get her prescriptions, cell phone charger which she'd left at the hospital etc. When she was comfortably (sorta) settled on the couch I went off to my friends' house who had immediately invited me to stay when they heard about Emily. I'm so grateful to them!

A few hours sleep before Emily was calling in pain. =( Told her to take more pain meds and she managed to get a couple more hours sleep.

This morning I ran 3 miles on the Provo hills around my friends' house. Yikes are some of those hills steep! One of them I ran on the balls of my feet...it was so much easier that way.

And now, the sad bit. It involves negative emotion from me so don't read on if you're happy right now.

Ok, I'm getting over the miscarriage. I'm getting happier and more at peace each day. But it's still hard sometimes. And now I'm going to take you into the heart of the bad parts of Keeley.

I read my RW magazine on the flight. And there was a big section on Kara Goucher and Paula Radcliffe and their pregnancies and I was really really surprised by a sudden big burst of negative emotion. I didn't expect to feel this way. But here I was, sitting on a plane, overwhelmed by anger, jealousy and resentment.

I felt so bad that I was feeling this way. But it is what it is and if I deny that's how I'm feeling I can't work through it and get over it.

And then I learned just a couple of minutes ago that Kara had her baby and I'm so happy for her and so so so so sad for me.

I know without a doubt there was a purpose to my pregnancy. There was a reason for it, even though I don't know what that reason is right now. But sometimes I think about how I was totally on track for my ultra - the ultra that's coming up in two weeks - and how all that got thrown out the window and how very difficult it is for me to even run 3 miles right now.

So my ultra, fitness, and endurance got thrown out of the window. And then my baby died. The last I saw him/her she was in a ziploc bag being handed to the doctor. And I want to scream and cry what the F was that all about?!?!?!?! What the hell?

*sigh*. Well. I hang on. And I get less and less days like this. It'll get better.

But hey, Kara gave birth on the same day my daughter had her appendectomy. So that's nifty.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

This Just In!

Emily called this avvy to wish Bert a happy birthday. Sounded awful. She'd been throwing up all day. Said her abdomen hurt either from throwing up or menstrual cramps or both.

Few hours later called to say she was on her way to the hospital. Pain so bad she couldn't stand up and was only on one side.

Called a few minutes ago. Appendicitis. Drs. think it ruptured. Surgery in an hour or so.


Looks like I'm flying to Utah. Pity I can't drive. Would WAY prefer to drive. SO much more fun. However, think I need to be there tomorrow rather than Weds. morning.

No biking this week. Hopefully I can get some running in but no guarantees.

Waiting for surgeon to call. Hope all is ok.

My gosh. This year has been one heck of a ride, hasn't it?

Edit: No rupture - WHOOT! Surgery went well. Flying out this morning. Really looking forward to seeing her.

Pigs, birthdays, and smiles

Am currently eating a Nabisco 100 cal pack of mister salty yoghurt flavoured pretzels. I am somewhat enjoying them despite the fact that I hate pretzels. Weird. I'd blame it on being starving from Fast Sunday but I've eaten a big plate of Spaghetti Bolognaise (made by yours truly. And it tasted good. Miraculous, huh? I put sugar in in it) since I ended my fast so I don't think that's it. Plus, I didn't fast for a full 24 hours cos today is Bert's birthday and we went out to eat last night.

We went to the Bunganut Pig. Yes we did. Yes, you read that right. Bunganut Pig.

We had fried bologna wedges for an appetizer. Yep. Uh huh. You read that right too.




They came with tiny strips of american cheese. Yes. The processed kind.

They also came with a small bowl of hot sauce and a small bowl of jalapenos.

Let me explain to y'all.

I hate bologna.
I hate american cheese. I hate it so much "american" doesn't even rate a capital letter.
I hate hot sauce.
I hate jalapenos.

But holy cow the combination of the four was DYNAMITE. Whooooooo Doggie!!! Anyone who comes to visit from now on is being taken for fried bologna wedges at the Bunganut Pig. Just sayin'. And you'll all kiss my knees and shins for being such an amazing hostess and introducing you to the gastronomic delight.

I'm takin' the missionaries there for dinner on Thursday. They looked very very nervous when I told them where we were going for lunch and what I was feeding them. Bwahahahaha. =D

In other news
It's my beloved's birthday today. =) Happy birthday to hiiiiim!!! =) I took lotso pics none of which you can see for he objects strongly to having his picture on the net. To make up for it, here is a picture of my dog.

My beloved was given a nifty cycling jacket that you can take the sleeves off if it gets too hot, a front/back light pack for his bike so cars don't kill him, some cookies (he gets those every year on his birthday) and Lego Starwars. Guess which one Andrew gave him. Go on. Guess. =)

Kinda sorta like this only not because his is a yummy blue.

If you drop yoghurt onto your keyboard use a cloth to wipe it up, don't lick it. Just sayin'.

Today has really been a happy day.....
No, really. For the first time in a long time I've felt like really smiling. Light and at peace and happy. SUCH a relief.

.....and then I get this email...
If you're pregnant you can go into Sweet CeCes and bogo free for your entire pregnancy.

I mean! Come on, Danielle! Couldn't you have done that in August? =P

Honestly, it's a bummer but it's not killing me.

Time goes on. I run. I bike. I don't lose weight because of fried bologna wedges and the birthday cookie and ice cream I just ate. I still struggle with running 2 miles. But I have no plans to give up. Just keep on keepin' on. Only just lately I've been doing that while smiling a little more. =)

I hope y'all are having a fabulous Sunday.

Friday, September 24, 2010

What's sexy

There is nothing sexier than the sound of bike gears switching. Ohh my gosh that click click click....

....unless it's gear grease on a well-developed calf.....

.....or a runner who is fast....

....or who can run for a long long time.....

Just sayin'.

Dh comes home in about 2 hours. SOoooooo excited. =) Woman across the aisle from him threw up a lot during the 14 hr flight from Japan. Poopy =(

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Meeting someone you know for the first time.

Beloveds, how is your day going? I hope you're having fun and all is well.

Today was kinda lazy. Got up after weird dreams - again. Lots of weird dreams lately. Took Ben to Seminary. Came home and ran. 2.70 miles in about 31.30mins. Non-stop, baby. Whoot! If can do 2.7 miles then I can sure as heck do 3 miles. And that's the next goal.

Skyped Bert in Japan. It's astonishing to me how far skype has come. Several years ago it was terrible. Now it's clear and smooth and the voice and picture match up. Beautiful improvement. It was 11.30pm for him on Thursday night when we talked, so he was pretty excited about that. It meant it was his last night in the hotel; when he wakes up he'll pack, work a half day, then head to the airport and fly home. =) He'll leave 6pm Friday night and arrive 8.15pm Friday night in Nashville. He actually arrives in Dallas two hours before he set off. Love that time travel thing.

After that I took the boy to Pump It Up. A chap there helped Andrew get half-way up the climbing wall. It was the furthest he's gone. I was so proud of him. =)

Then I met Jo, a lady from The Daily Mile, at Sweet CeCes.

What's amazing to me is how fast this franchise has taken off. Our friend, CeCe Moore, developed it and started it in Belle Meade. It was so successful there that she took over the cursed corner of Five Points in Franklin. It was rather nerve-wracking as she opened it in the fall (ie, not prime frozen-yoghurt-eating time) and the location she used had previously had a string of unsuccessful businesses in it. But oh my is this one successful!!!! Sweet CeCes has exploded in popularity. I'm so so so happy for CeCe. =) On the website it says they are opening stores in Nebraska, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, Florida, and several locations in Tennessee including Cool Springs. Holy cow.

Anyway, this is all beside the point. Jo is a lady I met when I moved from my Beloved Loop to Daily Mile. We met for the first time today and had such a good time! =) She is a lovely lady with a fascinating life story. I can't post any pics of her right now, but I hope to be able to do so later.

Here's some of Andrew and I. Enjoy. =)

Jo took this one.

After Jo left, Andrew started hugging this tree really tightly. Dang cute.

Andrew wanted to take a picture of me hugging the tree too. =)

We lived at Seal Beach for a bit before Nissan moved to TN. When I'd pick Bert up from work I'd pass the field where the goodyear blimp was moored. Imagine my amazement on Monday when I went outside to ride my bike and lo and behold, there's the goodyear blimp. 'Mazin'.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Well, I'm sorry about that.

Productive day! Ben to seminary, cleaned up the house, homeschooled Andrew, went visiting teaching, did laundry, cleaned some more, and finally went to the Library for the free yoga lesson.

It was soo fabulous. I really really enjoyed it. Andrew came along and was welcomed. He did very well, keeping quiet not tearing the place up. I was so proud of him.

During savasana (ie, at the end where you lie on your back and chill), Andrew curled up into my arms. I turned on my side instead of lying on my back so we could share a sweet, gentle hug. It was so wonderful. A real moment of bonding and connection. It was peaceful, and my heart was filled with love for this precious child of mine.

Then he turned his sweet little face up to me and lovingly whispered, "You smell weird."

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Now.....where was I?

I had two absolutely BRILLIANT ideas for posts. Of course I've forgotten them. Raaather irritating.

Oh wait!!!!!! I've remembered one! Only...ok, fine it's not brilliant. But take a look at THIS! I mean, THESE! My dh emptied everything off my phone a while ago and I finally got round to sorting through it. There are some absolute gems. For example, for those ward members who read my blog, did you know ....oh, wait. Hold up, she might not appreciate me putting her fabulous talent on my blog. I'd better ask her before I do that. Grr.

Here are the other gems in no particular order:

A bird making a weird noise. Where did I take this and why did I take it? I think it was probably at the Traveler's Rest Plantation. I wonder what this bird is saying? Probably something like "Oi! You rotten lot! Get off my dang lawn!"


Here's the Sarah Palin Mobile. This isn't its most recent incarnation, this was the one right before the election.

It takes some chutzpah to ride around with that on your truck, I'm telling ya.

What other gems did I find?
Here's Ben singing Istanbul was Constantinople several years ago. What kind of cool kid knows the words to that song, huh?


Wasn't that fascinating? Aren't you glad you spent time to read this blog post? =D

Today I ran 2 miles. Well. Sorta. I slept in so I took The Dude with me after we took The Ben to seminary. It was stop and go stop and go. Oh well! =)

In other news, Bert runs really stinkin' fast. He sent me his garmin info. Firstly it was WAY cool to see the map of Atsugi where he's running.

Secondly, how he keeps his heartrate so low I simply do not know. Today he ran an average 9:00pace and his average hr was 128. WHAT? I can't even get mine that low when I walk!

Thirdly, he hit a 5:30 pace for a while. Yeah. That's what I said. He said it was downhill and he was really sprinting. No kidding.

Alright this post is getting long and boring. I had chicken, potatoes and carrots for dinner. It was insanely delicious. Now I'm going to have a ww ice cream. I know you're jealous.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Scintillating Stuff!

Bert left for Japan yesterday morning. We skyped a couple of hours ago and he'd been in his hotel room about an hour. So we were awake all yesterday then slept all night then got up and did stuff and he was traveling all that time. How he does it i have no idea.

What I've done thus far today:
- woken up
- dressed etc
- Ben to Seminary
- Boatload of dishes
- Breakfast and scriptures with Andrew
- Made Andrew's lunch
- Skyped Bert
- Took Andrew to school
- Wrote this post

What I'm going to do for the rest of the day:

- Go on a bike ride
- Go running
- Go to the library
- Pick up Andrew from BHSE
- Go food shopping, maybe.
- Tidy up the house a bit
- Dinner
- Oh yeah, got to get lunch in there somewhere as well
- Family Home Evening
- Bed

I know y'all were dying to read that. =) Hope you are having a fabulous day thus far. =)
Oh yes, and many apologies for the gripiness of yesterday's post. Feeling much better today.

And now!! En Avant!!! À bicyclette!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Oh, BTW, thank you. =)

Thank y'all for your helpful opinions on the cycling jersey I should purchase.

There was one vote for The Kiss cycling jersey. I thought it might be helpful to post a picture of the back of it and see if the opinion remains the same. Who the heck is anonymous anyway? It's driving me crazy. Wish I knew. ANYWAY. Here is the back that made Bert go "Uggghhh!"

What do you think? Is it funky?

I'm leaning towards the black and white one and the second one. I'm concerned about Bert's description of the black and white one ("it looks like a whale") because I'd like to be svelte and speedy, not whale-ish. OTOH, the price is right soooo.....I dunno. I'll decide by next weekend. Maybe. =P

"You ride in a really tall gear"

Warning: Long incoherent meandering post with a lot of navel-gazing. Many apologies.

Can you hear the truth in your own words?

When I was bleeding so badly at the end of my pregnancy I thought it was simply a continuation of the problems I'd been having for weeks exacerbated by the dusting and vacuuming that I'd done the past couple of days. I thought all I needed to do was rest up and everything would be fine again. I was on the phone with Bert and we were talking about it and for some reason the words "....for all we know the baby may be dead already and we won't find out until the next ultrasound..." came out of my mouth.

And as I said them I heard the truth in them. So after Bert and I said goodbye I immediately called the doctor, went in, and it was probably less than an hour after I said those words I found out they were indeed true.

So lately for one thing and another I've been really down on myself. When I thought of everything I'd tried to do or wanted to be I couldn't see anything but mediocrity and failure. I needed a great big F or L on my head or something. There seriously wasn't one thing I could think of where I'd excelled.

I'm serious here. Not one!

So I said words to the effect of "There is nothing I'm good at. I fail at everything."

And I heard the untruth of those words. Which led me to a whole lot of pondering as I attempted to figure out what the heck it is that I'm good at.

Why it's important to exercise
It finally came to me on my bike ride yesterday. I'm good at enduring. I'm good at keeping going when Hope is gone. I'm good at making sure the breath goes in and out of my lungs. I'm good at getting up and getting dressed. I'm good at pushing on when I want to stop.

For example, these thoughts came into my mind just after I wrote the above paragraph:

"Stop this freaking world! I am SO NOT enjoying my experience in mortality right now. I'm suffering. It really really really hurts. Everywhere I turn I see pain for me. And I want it to stop. Please. Now. Can I get some good stuff? Please? Can I feel like I'm a good, worthwhile person and not just an irritating waste of space?"

And this was the response my brain immediately pulled out:
"Yeah yeah suck it up rub dirt in it. Get on the damn bike and ride. Pick yourself up off the sidewalk and run."

See what I mean? I'm good at just getting on with it. I think it's the English in me. One of my favourite stories from World War I is of these Brits in the trenches and a cannon ball had just exploded in their particular trench and they're lying there wounded and this one soldier is screaming "My leg! I've lost my leg! I've lost my leg!" and another one responds "No you haven't, it's over here." Hahahahaha. =D Black humour. Gotta love it.

I'm losing the thread of my thoughts. Where the heck was I?

Oh yeah. The only thing I'm good at is enduring.

Which is why this morning was a bummer.

It's bad when you cry yourself to sleep. It's even worse when you wake up crying. And I'm lying there thinking "I really don't want to freaking endure anymore, thank you very much! Can I just give up now?"

*sigh* but I didn't. I got up and got on with things.

Riding life's roads in a tall gear
On the bike ride yesterday Bert was behind me. He looked at my gears and said "You ride in a really tall gear!" It's true. I ride in the tallest and only loosen up when the hill is particularly bad. I'm comfortable with the slow cadence. I'm thinking this is a metaphor for something but I haven't quite sorted it out yet.

I really don't have a happy ending to this post. It would be ok with me if at some point I found out I was good at something uplifting and joyful. Enduring isn't exactly a barrel of laughs...though it IS useful when you're running and really would like to stop. =P

Whatever. Tomorrow's another day. Maybe something good will happen.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Ads, bike, run, soccer, beat.

For no reason whatsoever, I present my favourite cell phone advert.

The other one I love is where the Dad storms out of the house towards a car parked in the driveway and the Mom is standing, worried at the door and the Dad FLINGS the car door open to see his daughter and her boyfriend inside.....and they're texting. "THEY'RE TEXTING!" he yells and the Mom goes "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hahahaha. I wish I could find that ad. It was awesome. The cry, "They're Texting!" became part of our insane familial conversation for a while. Now it's "I was the turkey all along!"

I was wondering what that turkey was doing there.

Roused the entire brood - except Emily who isn't here - loaded the van and drove out to Leiper's Fork. 21+ miles up hill and down dale was fabulous. The hills were interesting. I had a really awesome idea for a blog post on the ride but I can't remember all of it now and what I can remember looks much lamer in text than it did in my head. Bummer. Andrew did very well. Ben did ok. I was happy.

So the plan was to bike, drive home, then I'd run. However after biking the boys wanted a drink at Pucketts and so I thought "Hey! Might as well go now." So I dropped the bike off at the van and ran for two miles. The goal was to go non-stop. I ran non-stop. It nearly killed me. I wanted to stop sooooo badly. But I didn't.

I figured it would take me about 20 mins or so to do the 2 miles so Bert said he'd load up the bikes then come get me.

So I ran and ran and then stopped and I joke not, the moment I stopped Bert appeared in the van to pick me up. Talk about amazing timing! =)

And it was a good job I ran right then because there was no time later. We dashed home, cleaned up, and took Andrew to soccer. During the game he broke away from the pack of squirrels, sped down the field and scored a goal. WHOOOOOT!!!! He was the hero of the game because the other team smoked us. =D

Totally knackered now. I'm going to sleep well tonight.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Visiting Teachers and Cycling Jerseys

If there's one thing more awesome than having a Visiting Teacher, it's having a Visiting Teacher who is perfectly willing to talk about things that Visiting Teachers don't normally talk about. I love my VT!!

In other news, there are a couple of things I need your help on.

Of course now that I have my bike I am in dire need - don't argue, yes I am - of a cycling jersey. Because. That's why.

Here are my favourites. Pretty please peruse the selection and indicate which one is the most faaabulous. Either that or send a link for one you prefer above all these here. I tried really hard to find a Gir or Zim cycling jersey but they don't exist. Isn't that just about the saddest thing you've ever heard?

Pros: At $40, it's the cheapest. The colours match my bike.
Cons: The white accents at the back are beautifully placed for a mud stripe when it rains. Bert says it looks like a whale.

Pros: midrange pricing. Nifty design. Bert approves of Primal Wear (the company that makes it)

Pros: Pretty. Bert thinks so too.
Cons: Bloody expensive. I'm kinda meh about it.

Pros: Absolutely gorgeous art. White would be good in the summer.
Cons: Expensive. White would mean a lovely stripe up the back in rain. It's called "The Courtesan" so I'd have a prostitute on my back. Though perhaps most people wouldn't know the name of the artwork?

Pros: freaking awesome. Light colour good for hot weather wear.
Cons: Expensive. Also, although Bert loves the front, he's not so hot on the back. I think he said "Ugh!" Maybe it's a little weird to ride around with people kissing on your back? I love it though.

So, thoughts? Opinions?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

New bike, bricks and homeschool

My computer has some kind of hideous virus. It's evil and I'm upset about it. Thus I am typing this on my son's computer. Gah. I'm hoping Bert can fix my beloved purple computer before he leaves for Japan this weekend. I hate it when he goes away.

Bert bought me a bike last Saturday. It's AWESOME!!! I love it. It's a Specialized Dolce compact with Sram shifters. Because I tried the other shifters and was like "Kill me now." And then I tried the sram and the clouds parted and the sun shone and the world sang for joy.

My bike is black and white with a couple of nifty blue accents. It's suurrrweeeet.

I do not like large gravel trucks that pass too close.

Also, I went out last Saturday with Bert and Andrew (Andrew rides on the trailer bike behind Bert) and it was so wonderful to be biking together and all the cyclists were happy and smiling and friendly.
Then I went out by myself last night and smiled and waved and nodded at all the other cyclists and they just looked at me and didn't respond.
Then I went out with Bert and Andrew this morning and all the cyclists were so happy and waving and smiling. I dunno. Maybe I smell funny or something. Maybe it's Andrew. Everyone loves to see him out on that trailer bike. =) He IS stinkin' cute on that that thing. =)

Today's bike workout: 20 miles with Bert and The Dude.


Took a break from running as my calf was hurting. Last time I ran was Friday. Today I taped the living daylights out of my leg and went out right after the bike ride. Yes indeed. My very first brick.

Today's run:
1 mile walking warm up because my bike tyre went flat and I had to walk it home.
2 mile run in ...uhm...I don't know how long it took. I was hitting an average of about 11mm so I'm thinking it took me 22 minutes.
About 1/2 mile or so cool down when I walked the dog.

Yesterday we were working in Language Lessons for Little Ones. I read a poem to Andrew and he was meant to narrate the story of the poem back to me. I read it several times. I went over the difficult concepts (cinching saddles, pulling bridle reins, what a bronco pony was etc) several times to make sure he got it. I read the poem again. And then I said, "Ok, tell me the story of the poem."

There was a slight pause. Andrew looked at me. Then he said,

"I'm going to sing the Doom song now. Doom doom doom doom doom doom."

What can you do? I laughed and closed the book. Of course when I did that he said, "I'm going to tell you the story now." And he did. Admirably =)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Running, biking and purchasing

So, the bathroom reading material in the Brooks household basically consists of Runner's World and Bicycling magazines. We keep rodale in business. Except for the fact that I called to cancel my RW subscription because I was REALLY ticked that they automatically subscribed me for next year. And then they said "How about if you only pay $10 for the entire year. Would that change your mind?" Yes. Yes it would.

I don't read the Bicycling magazine because....you know...it's bicycling and doesn't come close to the awesomeness of running.

However, I'd read all the RW magazines and through some kind of brain cloud aberration hadn't yet moved my new Sept issue into the loo. Thus, I was forced into picking up Bert's magazine.

And then I found "The Straight Dope" by The Bike Snob, a man who I instantly fell madly in love with because he's freaking AWESOME.

I recreate the article for your enjoyment right here. Yes, yes. No need to thank me. You're welcome.


The Straight Dope
When cycling fans try to figure out who is cheating, things get weird.

Cyclists are a breed of compulsives. We shave our legs fastidiously, buy boutique lubes and log our rides as if the information will matter someday. In terms of our lack of perspective, we're somewhere between Hummel-figurine collectors and metal-detector enthusiasts.

But it's the things we don't know that really drive us crazy. For example, many cyclists obsess over ceramic bearings even though they've never seen their bearings; for all they know, their mechanic filled the bottom bracket with Velveeta. Plus, we can't even watch our own sport like normal people. Consider the subject of doping.

Doping exists in professional cycling as it does in all sports. It also exists in amateur cycling. It even exists in journalism - I'm writing this on a potent mix of Adderall, Cialis, and Tums. But on any online cycling forum you'll find matter-of-fact proclamations about who's taking what and how, made by people who have about as much insider knowledge of the pro peloton as Michael Moore has about what goes on at a Weight Watchers meeting. It's like listening to a bunch of really young kids talk about sex - they're totally clueless, but there's always one who saw part of a dirty movie once, thinks he gets it, and then demonstrates some highly unlikely configurations to the rest of the crowd with a couple of WWE action figures.

People should be free to indulge their inner conspiracy theorists. But a sport is only as socially acceptable as its fans. So when cycling fans seem less interested in the races than in the blood, hair and urine of the riders, the general public tends to get creeped out and moves on to golf, where talk of bodily fluids is mostly limited to Tiger Woods.

The result: Cycling remains a freak sport here in America, even though football is vastly more freaky on every level. The difference is most people who watch football don't actually play it too, so they're able to just watch. Cycling fans also ride. This is why the last Super Bowl was the highest-rated telecast of the year, while the Tour de France barely manages to preempt rodeo.


In other news, in about five minutes my beloved is taking me out to buy me a bike. I think I'm going to get measured. Which means someone is going to be staring at me while I pedal. Makes me kinda nervous. Must remember to suck in my stomach.

Apparently I'm also going to need some tight biking shorts (what goes around comes around - I remember insisting Bert buy some tight shorts simply so I could have the pleasure of seeing him in them) and a top with pockets in the back.

Most of this stuff is made by Pearl Izumi. Which is a great pity as I'm currently sulking about their ad insulting slow runners (Yes, I'm a very slow runner) and thus boycotting their smarmy snobby little butts. And this boycott will continue. At least until I see come cute little top and go "OOOoohhhh!"

Monday, September 06, 2010


I downloaded pictures from our trip to Virginia today. While scrolling through them I received a bit of a shock.

As a reference point, here's a picture of me pre-pregnancy.

Here's a picture of Andrew and I in Jamestown (that's Emily behind the tree).

Here's a picture from a different angle and a little closer.

I had no idea I was showing so much. It came as quite a shock to see the picture.

This morning Andrew said to me "I wish we could have the baby now."

"I do too"

"I miss the baby."

"Me too."

"But why were you crying when the baby died?"

"Because I was sad and missed the baby."

"Oh. Me too. But the baby would be nearly here because it's my birthday in six months and the baby was coming near my birthday. But I'm excited to have a birthday."

32nd Annual Franklin Classic 10k and 1km kids run


Getting there
Dragged my sorry butt out of bed at 6.25am, threw on my clothes, threw a banana in my gob, chugged some water, went to the toilet. Went again. Went again. My propensity to want to poop my pants while running gets me kinda paranoid before I set out.

Weather was absolutely PERFECT! About 65-70f. How could it possibly get any better?

7am Bert and Andrew drove me to downtown Franklin and dropped me off before then went to find a parking space. I met up with Lisa Welsh, her son and D-I-L, Debbie Wilson's daughter, and Seth. LaReesa Sherwood and Lisel German were there too, but I didn't see them as they're uber fast and were lined up right at the front.

I'm glad I met up with everyone because they pointed out I didn't have a chip. Whoops. Went to get one, and then Bert and Andrew turned up HOORAY! =) We took pictures. And kissed. Because my dh is irresistible. Then off they went to find a place up front where they could take a picture as I set off.

And then I look to the side and I think...."Hold the phone. I know that guy. I know him!!!! I do! I know him!!!!!" It was Mayur from The Loop!!! Oh my gosh I was so excited. I said "HEY!!!! Do I know you?!?!!" Hahaha. =) Big smiles all around and we gave each other a big hug then he went off to register for the 10k. I can only assume he didn't make it to the table in time (I believe they shut down registration 5 minutes before the race) as he didn't pass me...and he would definitely have passed me cos he's speedy. But maybe he did make it and I just wasn't paying attention. I'm sad. I would have liked to have seen him speed past me.

Running the 10k
Anyway, off we went. Wave to Bert and Andrew and smile. Woah, slow down. Way down. Too fast. Ok, here come the hills. Push push push. DO. NOT. WALK. Push push push hr at 174 yikes slow it down. Hey, it's nice to cross 96 without having to dodge cars. =) Wish there was a traffic light there.

Then...there was the water station manned by my church. YAY! Seth said as he passed they didn't give him water they just threw it all over him. Hahahaha. =D Luckily they didn't recognize me until I was passing them and by then it was too late to bomb me with water. Or maybe they wouldn't have anyway. When they recognized me they all started hollering and yelling so I yelled back "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" It was really fun.

After I passed them I realized I'd totally sped up and was going so fast I needed to walk. Hahaha. =D Walked for a minute. There goes my goal of not taking walk breaks. Oh well.

Once I'd taken one walk break it was easy to take more. In total I walked for 1 minute 4 times. Disappointing, but not heartbreakingly so. More of an "Damn. Oh well."

Blah blah blah last three miles push push keep going and then there was the finish line and I was passed by the 6 year old and his Dad. ROFL! Dang! SO impressed by them but it would have been ok with me if I wasn't smoked by a 6 year old.

Passed the finish line doing an AWESOME Bangle Pump. Was Bert able to get a good picture of it? No. Bugger. =(

1:15:10. Not exactly a PR, but it's ok, considering I wasn't really ready to race the 10k.

Met up with Bert and Andrew. Bert gave me a HUGE hug and kiss despite the fact that I was gross and sweaty. What a man.

Banana, mini luna bar, water, nausea and lightheaded. Whoops. I kept moving and that helped. Sat down while Bert took pics of Andrew by the Mellow Mushroom van and that helped too.

1km Kids Run
Then we walked around the square - why they call it a square I don't know as it's a roundabout - and we saw children lining up at the start line and I asked Andrew if he'd like to run the race. He was soooo excited by the idea so we dashed over to the table and registered him. It was so fabulous pinning his little bib on him. =) My little five year old running his first ever race. Oh my gosh. SO cool.

I put my garmin on his wrist. He didn't want to wear my hr monitor, but he loved wearing that garmin.

We lined up and then OFF we went! (Andrew was sure to push "start" on the garmin as we set off. =D) Bert and I ran with him. He ran really hard and then walked and then ran really hard and walked. I'd say "do a nice steady pace, Andrew. Keep going." but he'd get all excited at seeing some kid and passing them that he'd go all out, looking back to make sure he'd smoked 'em, and then he'd walk. Hahaha. =D

And then there was the finish line! WHOOOOT! And he totally took off. =) "GO ANDREW GO!" we yelled.

After he was done we got him a banana and a water. =) He really liked that. He was given a ribbon as well and he couldn't stop looking at it. =)

Total time: 7 minutes.
Average pace: 11:06
Best pace: 7:40

Andrew quotes after the race

"You did great, Andrew. Are you proud of yourself?"
"Well, I'm not proud of myself, but it WAS fun."

"I wish I could do that race again. I mean right now. That would be so awesome. And then I'd probably do TWO miles!"

Well they took some honey from a tree, dressed it up and they called it me.

Everybody's tryin' to be my baby
Everybody's tryin' to be my baby
Everybody's tryin' to be my baby now
I woke up last night half past four
fifteen women knockin' at my door.

We listened to this song on the way home. Awesome 10k. FABULOUS 1km run. Then this song on the way home. How can the day possibly get any better?


Sunday, September 05, 2010

Sunday Scripture n flies

I am currently listening to my husband teach my 5yo how to rid the house of flies and it's absolutely hysterical. I'm so sorry you can't hear it. Quotes like

"The future of a fly-free house depends on you, Andrew"


"Teach 'em about the cycle of life, Andrew. Namely the death part."


"Scream for power, Andrew."


doesn't sound funny when it's written in a web page but hearing the actual thing with the voice inflections is sooo funny.

And after every shout of triumph there's my little voice: "Please disinfect that when you're done." =D

Anyway, scripture for the week.

Jonah 2:2-6

I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and he heard me: out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice.

For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about: all thy billows and thy waves passed over me.

Then I said, I am cast out of thy sight; yet I will look again toward thy holy temple.

The waters compassed me about, even to the soul: the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head.

I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O Lord my God.

Fleur's Translation
Life occasionally freaking sucks, but if you trust in the Lord you'll get through it ok and will be happy.

Today, in Fast and Testimony meeting, Cassie Peach (who has been through the refiner's fire lately) said simply. "It's ok. Please don't give up." That was just beautiful. Those six words brought comfort. I'm hurting pretty badly. But it's ok. I won't give up.

Saturday, September 04, 2010


Men, go away. You really really do not want to read this blog post.

Women, if you're grossed out by...uhhh....female stuff.....do not continue. For this post is crammed full of it.

Ok, so a few days after I found out I was pregnant I started bleeding. There were two times I stopped bleeding during the next two months. One was for one day, another time was for a whole four days.

And then the bleeding worsened. And then I miscarried. And then I had a D&C and then I bled like crazy for ten days.

"You'll bleed for a couple of days" said the Doctor.

Uh huh. TEN. TEN DAYS.

That's like after I give birth and everyone's like "Oh you'll bleed for a bit but then you'll stop and you won't have any periods!"

Yeah. Right. I bleed for the ENTIRE six weeks after giving birth and then start my periods again immediately after that despite exclusively breastfeeding.

Soooooooooo anyway following the D&C I bled for ten days. I quit bleeding right about the 23rd August.

I have my post- D&C check up with the Dr. on the 31st - and he says "You should wait at least two good cycles before trying to get pregnant again. And it takes on average eight weeks for your body to start cycling."

And I'm listening to this thinking "Uh huh. There is no way my body can handle not bleeding for eight weeks. I'll have a month's break if I'm lucky."

I'm here to tell the entire expletive world that I'm not, in fact, lucky in this regard.

My period started the day before yesterday.

TWO DAYS after my Drs appointment when he told me I'd probably have to wait eight weeks.
TEN DAYS after I quit bleeding from my D&C.

And this month is a doozy. Holy cow. I'm a geyser. Why I'm not passed out on the floor, a little white shriveled up bloodless shell I have no idea.

I think my body just likes to bleed. I mean, for goodness' sakes!!! I'm only little!!! It's a wonder I'm not completely dead from anemia.

Where's the damn chocolate?

Friday, September 03, 2010

Help Desk

From Susan Wise Bauer's blog. Enjoy.

Running and Homeschooling


An awesome 5 miles. Finally feel as though I'm on the road to recovery as I didn't stop. Nuh uh. Alrighty then! That's good stuff right there. Goal for training from now on: No stopping. Yikes.

As I was running through the uphill bits (read: hr at 171-174bpm. Yes. I know) I came across Bro. Widman. Whooot!!!! That was fun. I laughed with joy when I saw him and we high-fived. I was happy to see him running as he was out injured for a long time and was unable to run the CMM because of it. It's good to see a fellow runner back on his feet.

Pain down the outside of my right leg from my butt on down, but mostly from the outside of my knee to my ankle. If I ignore it, will it go away?


Thought it would be fun to give a quick outline of what Andrew accomplished today.

Piano - Locating middle C and playing it both with the right thumb and the left, holding for four counts.

Scriptures - finished the Book of Mormon reader (that was fast!)

Math - Second half of lesson 11, writing numbers 1-9, circling which number is less, identifying the missing number and writing it. Yesterday we added for the first time and he caught on sooo quickly.

English - Reciting the alphabet using upper and lower case letters, Listening to a story about Ben Franklin and his whistle followed by narration, identifying the beginning sound of pictures, identifying the letter that goes with the sound, writing the letter, identifying the odd one out.

Reading - McGuffey's Eclectic Primer lesson ten
Chapters five and six of "Andrew, Catch that Cat!" (excerpt below)

Storytime - The Little Cookie
Chapter One of My Father's Dragon
One page from each section in "What your preschooler needs to know". (I really need to get the Kindergarten book. I thought I had it but it disappeared.)

Science - Three pages from "Where does electricity come from?"
Paper Wasps from Christian Liberty nature Reader 1

Art - Two pictures in The Usborne Art Sticker Book.

I blew off My first Classical Music Book. Because I'm a bum. And because this is the second time through the book.

I feel some guilt at not doing hands-on art projects, but salve that guilt by remembering he does that kind of stuff at his tutorial on Mondays.

Right now he's jumping on the trampoline. In a couple of hours he has his gym class. He'll also go to the Parent's Night Out at his gym while his Momma and Poppa go on a date. I love Friday Date Nights!!! WHOOT! =)

Excerpt from "Andrew, Catch that Cat!"

Words Andrew missed are in italics.

That night, after all the excitement, Andrew had an idea. he and Josh could earn money by helping repair all of the damage.

The next morning Andrew and Josh made dozens of flyers.

Then they filled the wagon with brooms, rakes, buckets, and rags, and went door to door.

Their flyers read:
Two boys and a Wagon
- We tidy yards
- wash cars
- trim brushes
- plant flowers
- walk dogs
- clean under porches (without skunks)

By the end of the week, Josh had enough money to buy his mother a wonderful birthday gift.

Andrew used his earnings to buy a favorite treat for a special friend.

(The flyer part was handwritten; Andrew needs practice reading handwriting as opposed to type.)

Believing Christ

One of the wonderful things about taking Emily to college is the BYU bookstore. I picked up Stephen Robinson's "Believing Christ" on CD. Bert's parents had sent me the tape many many years ago, but I wanted it on my ipod to listen to while I run. So I spent precious dollars on it. And I'm so glad I did.

Believing Christ
Today as I was listening, Robinson talked about Christ being human. Some believe Christ was absolutely divine. And he was. But he was also human. If you believe Christ was only divine then how can he possibly understand what you're going through?

But Christ was also human. Which means he was tempted just as we are. Probably more. If you were Satan, wouldn't you want the Saviour of mankind to spectacularly fail? Wouldn't you then keep the pressure on? But though Christ was tempted, he didn't sin.

So how on earth can he understand what we're going through? If he was tempted way more than I am tempted but didn't give in, how can he possibly understand what it's like for me who DOES give in on a daily basis?

And that's where the Atonement comes in. He can understand because he's btdt. He atoned for all our sins. Which means he experienced what we experienced.

In pondering this on my run I thought he must have lived all our lives as we lived it. It would be cheating, wouldn't it, to atone for our sins by living our lives at warp speed. Some of what makes this life difficult is the fact that when we're in pain the seconds turn to hours and the agony goes on and on, whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual pain. So he must have lived all our lives in real time. I have no idea how he did that. Another mystery of the universe. This is the gospel according to Keeley and has no doctrinal basis as far as I know.

Real world application
Ok, so after hearing this my brain put it in words I could understand.

Christ was running a race for us. And he was not running as Dean Karnazes with his magical ability to somehow flush lactic acid out of his muscles so he can run and run and run and run and run.

No, he was running as you. And me. He was running as all of us at the same time. He ran as the overweight one who could barely reach the end of his driveway, staring in hopelessness at the hundreds of miles left to go. He ran as me running in pain with an unhealed abdomen and knees screaming. He ran as the one with broken feet and messed up ankles. He ran as the one with ITBS, plantar fasciitis, patellar tendinitis.

He ran and he ran. And at first there was a pacer with him, encouraging him. He'd asked his friends to set up water stations with gatorade and gu but they were all tired and fell asleep. And it hard. So so hard. And he was so tired.

And then the pacer left him. And he was alone, running with our injuries, simply so he'd know what it was like to run with our injuries so he'd intimately know how to help us. And when he fell at mile 20 with cramping quads there was no-one there to jump out of the crowd and massage them. And when he fell screaming in pain because of a broken hip there was no stretcher there.

But the miracle is that he finished. And that's where his divinity came in. His divinity allowed him to keep running when we would have given up. He ran that race and he finished it! And got a PR! WHOOOOT!

And because of that, he knows just what I'm going through. And just what you're going through. He understands because he lived it. He lived it so he could understand and know exactly what we needed to help us. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

I had a dream

Emily introduced me to this song on our trip, and for me it was *the* song of the journey.

Today has been a down day. It's embarrassing to take one's child to Pump It Up and suddenly lose it sitting on the bench while he plays. I'm guessing this too, will pass. The Lord says to be gentle and patient with myself, and I try to be. It doesn't make it any less embarrassing though.