Ok, so we're reading Daniel and Esther this week in Sunday School. If you haven't at least the first few chapters of Daniel I strongly suggest you do so - the stories are mind-blowing.
Anyway, so here I am in Esther.
So Ahasuerus threw this HUGE party and invited all his peeps. His wife, Vashti, threw her own shindig for the women. The guys got really slap-happy and giggly and Ahasuerus was like "Oi! You! Go get Vashti so we can oggle her" to his servant and when the servant tells her to sashay into the King, Vashti's like "Dude. I think not!"
So Ahasuerus, being the king and therefore used to utterly getting his way like a spoiled kid was like "Hold up! That's not right! How'm I going to punish her?" and all his peeps say "You TOTALLY have to get rid of her because if you don't all the women in the country won't obey us. So kick her to the curb and our wives'll be frightened that *we'll* kick *them* to the curb and they'll obey us."
And Ahasuerus said "Tru dat" and got rid of Vashti.
Then his peeps were like "Hey, dude, you should totally have this Cinderella contest. It'd be wicked fun" and Ahasuerus said "Awesomesauce".
Are you with me so far? Keep paying attention, it gets really interesting and then comes the question.
So all the hot babes come to the palace and if they pass the round one inspection they get to go live in this house where they are "purified". Hegai sees Esther and is like "WOAH!" and gives her seven women to take care of her and gives her the best rooms in the house.
The women who pass round one spend ONE WHOLE YEAR being "purified". Yer what?
Esther 2:12 - to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of the women;
I do not know what all this is about. Anyone else know?
On with the story
Soooooo they're there for a year. And then they go see the king. And here is where I get my second all-important question. Have a look at these verses here and see if you can tell me what's going on:
Then thus came every maiden unto the king; whatsoever she desired was given her to go with her out of the house of the women unto the king’s house.
In the evening she went, and on the morrow she returned into the second house of the women, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king’s chamberlain, which kept the concubines: she came in unto the king no more, except the king delighted in her, and that she were called by name.
Does that sound kind of dodgy to anyone else? I mean, what are those hot babes doing for a whole night? Reading a book? Verse 17 talks about "virgins" so this sets my mind at rest somewhat..but What. The. Heck?!?!?! Bert speculates they were....dancing? My mind puts together this equation:
Spoiled king used to getting everything he wants + hot babes = ???Idon'twanttothinkaboutit???
Thoughts? I'm really hoping someone has some insight out there. Maybe some kind of "Persia's Got Talent"?