Woe is me for I'm not only undone but I'm a whining misery-guts.

Well it's just been an appalling few days and I've been a hermit and haven't wanted to talk or write or anything because I'm downright miserable and wanting to avoid all contact with other humans.

Emily ended up with not only three detentions but also an In-School Suspension because of all her tardies. Luckily her experiences there were not fun and she has declared she'll never be tardy again. Good oh.

Ben argued with me once too often and yelled at me to shut up. The Momma Volcano had a major explosion at that point.

Andrew has discovered whining and screaming. Screaming and whining. Whining and screaming. And when he's not doing that he's talking at me. Non-stop. A wall of words. He obviously needs attention. I'm just not very good at playing with cars on the couch. I've never been good at that kind of thing.

I have felt the past few days like I'm just going to explode. Like I want OUT of here. I've been more miserable this past week than I have since I got over my psychotic depression after Emily was born. THAT was two years of sheer hell I never want to repeat.

Ok, ok, so it's been bad bad bad and I've been miserable miserable miserable and trying to keep it all together and not go nuts and try to be calm and a good Momma and do things good Mommas should like..you know...take care of the family and be there for the children and stuff. My children are not behaving well so obviously they need a bunch of well-adjusted Mommy time and attention. I'm trying to give them that.

Then on Tuesday Ben and I were having a discussion about how much we love the co-op...the very same co-op we were both sooo reluctant to join but eventually did with great trepidation. It turned out it was BRILLIANT and we LOVED it. Half an hour after the conversation about how much we both loved it, the phone rang. The leader of the co-op was in hospital with chest pain. It wasn't a stroke but she has been told to chill out and take it easy. Soooo. No more co-op.

Ok ok ok, so I kind of get it together and Bert and I have a good date last night and this morning we get up early and take Ben to his scout merit badge thing and then he, Andrew and I all go to the farmer's market and then Andrew some shoes because his toes were hanging over his sandals and then get some lunch and then have a drive to beautiful Leiper's Fork and it was very rejuvinating. hooray!

Until we both notice several beautiful properties that we love that are for sale and we're excited until we find they're out of our price range by a huge amount.

And then I'm bummed again.

But THEN I go to the Relief Society Broadcast which was superdedooper and uplifting and great and NOT ONLY THAT but I meet up with a bunch of people I like and end up hanging out with Stacy Shelly...only that's not her name. I keep forgetting her married name because she's the daughter of this great family I knew in Michigan. But ANYWAY, Stacy and I hang out and after the broadcast she says "I'm going to go see if they need help in the kitchen" which would never occur to me because I'm kinda self absorbed and stuff. But anyway I tag along and we work hard and have a GREAT time in the kitchen. Stacy is a riot! =D We have so much fun.

And so I'm feeling great again. Spiritual high. All that. Hooray! =) Maybe I'm an ok person after all???

THEN I come home and wait for Emily to get home from homecoming and she shows me the photos and I realize.....this was a big deal with a WHOLE bunch of girls and they had a cookout and lots of parents were there taking pictures and.....

...we weren't. Because we're clueless.

And I feel like the scummiest parent alive.

Emily insists she told us about the cookout. All I heard was "I'm going over to Carolina's house to get ready" and when I suggested they get ready here the answer was "um...no." So. Ok. That's what I heard. Emily tells me that she gave me all the info. I don't think she did. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I'm wondering why on earth she doesn't want us around her friends or her friend's parents.

And I'm wondering what those parents think about us as Emily's parents....because we're never there....because we don't know about these things...because we're never told.

AGGGHHHH!

So. I'm bummed again.

If I don't get out of this mood soon, I can see me spiraling down into that nasty pit of depression again and I don't ever ever want to go there ever again because it was really really bad. So somehow I've got to snap out of it. I'm not sure how. Maybe I need a good night's sleep or something.

How come being the parent of a teenager is so hard?